well...it has been what, 4 weeks now here in Fresno? In some ways it seems i have been here for a long time and in others i still feel like i just arrived. i thought it was time for another blog. it has been a while since the last. just sitting here at the computer with my glass of good old cheap boxed wine. (ah the beauty of cheap wine when you're poor!) today was the second Sunday we have attended Mennonite Community Church as a unit. i really enjoy the congregation...it reminds me of Lima Menno back home...but different. it is a younger congregation...most of the members seem to be between 35-60. they have a small youth group, high school age. i talked to my housemates and we think we will invite them over and host a game/pizza night soon.
the unit house is starting to feel like home now. i am pretty settled in now, i will attach some pictures of the inside of the house. i still really enjoy my work with COSA. the circles are a breath of fresh air, sometimes very emotional, sometimes difficult and sometimes just plain fun. i am meeting one of the core members for coffee this week during my lunch break. i am starting to feel like part of the circles now, not just a guest visiting and i think the core members and volunteers are feeling the same way. i am now in 7 out of the 9 total circles...which is a lot! it is the part of the job i enjoy the most though. i am despising grant research though. there is only so much one can take of staring at a computer screen on the department of justice and come up with the same things saying they don't have any money to give...yeah, thanks to our amazing economy. let me tell you, California is not doing too hot in the economic field as of late. they are trying to pass a budget, but are getting no where. unemployment and poverty are at an all time high (especially here in Fresno) and pay-cuts, position cuts are a sure bet here for most companies, private and public. anyways...enough of that.
on a good note, i am in love with the Tower District (a 10 minute walk from home). it is the alternative artsy part of the city, where all the young, liberal folk come out for coffee, tea, and everything else. i found my new favorite place to go and write in my journal and meet new people. this amazing world tea house "Teazers." it is so great to go there and meet new people. i have already made a couple friends there. we have great conversation, we are to start biking together soon and it's just nice to get out of the MVS unit and in a "city" environment. my roomates pretty much stay at home as of late and keep saying, "oh...you were at Teazers again!? how have you already made friends?!" i just tell them it's something i need in my life. the more people, the merrier i say. the only problem is, of course, my $50 for the month are now GONE and it's only mid september! i need to be ableo to talk myself out of going 4 times a week and sometimes going to starbucks before work...it's a luxury i realize MVSers cannot have. (thanks Grandma and Grandpa L. for the $10!! I was able to go there 3 extra times!!)
so a topic i have been journaling about lately (due to the constant talk of it in recent "circles" and in conversation with friends from North Carolina) is FORGIVENESS. poeple who are having trouble forgiving themselves after many years and knowing that they have been forgiven by God, and many of them by family and friends, but just can't seem to forgive themselves. also talking to people about my work here and hearing how they don't think they could ever forgive any sex offender. i have been playing this Patty Griffin song "forgiveness" a lot lately and these lyrics seem to be a good reminder...if you have itunes, you should spend the .99 to buy this song (if not the whole record! :)
Forgiveness
We are swimming with the snakes
At the bottom of the well
So silent and peaceful in the darkness where we fell
But we are not snakes and what's more
We never will be
And if we stay swimming here forever we will
Never be free
I heard them ringing the bells
In heaven and hell
They got a secret
They're getting ready to tell
It's falling from the sky
Calling from the graves
Open your eyes, boy, I think we are saved
Open your eyes, boy, I think we are saved
Let's take a walk on the bridge
Right over this mess
Don't need to tell me a thing, baby
We've already confessed
And I raised my voice to the air
And we were blessed
It's hard to give and it's hard to get
Everybody needs a little forgiveness
We are calling for him tonight on this
Thin phone line
As usual we're having ourselves one
hell of a time
And the planes keep flying right over our heads
No matter how lond we shout
"Hey, hey, hey !"
And we keep waving and waving
Our arms in the air
But we're all tired out
I heard somebody say
Today's the day
A big old hurricaine
Is blowing our way
Knocking over the buildings
Killing all the light
Open your eyes, boy, we made it through the night
Open your eyes, boy, we made it through the night
Let's take a walk on the bridge
Right over this mess
Don't need to tell me a thing, baby
We've already confessed
And I raised my voice to the air
And we were blessed
It's hard to give
It's hard to get
It's hard to live still I think it's the best bet
It's hard to give and I'm never gonna forget
But everybody needs a little forgiveness
Everybody needs a little forgiveness
(*taken from www.pattygriffin.net)
From Living With Ghosts
©1996 One Big Love Music/Chrome Dog Music (ASCAP)
Well, i think that will be it for now! it was SO GOOD to talk to many of you today at the family gathering in Berne! keep sending the snail mail! i love getting it...maybe i'll start sending some back soon! miss you all and think of you EVERY DAY...
here's pix of the living room, dining room (connected to living room with a keyboard:), the bathroom with a tub, but no shower and the teeny tiny moldy shower and the kitchen.
