Almost Home...

Well, as I write this (i know it's been quite some time...sorry!) i have just finished cooking my THIRD Old Fashion Cream Pie since being here in Fresno. HAHA! COSA is having a "Thanksmas" (get it? b/w Thanksgiving and Christmas?:) party tonight and I had to make a pie and a hash brown potato casserole. Also, I only have 5 more days until I come home! I have never been so excited to come back to Lima! I am so looking forward to spending time with everyone! The Christmas season has not been the same here in California...partly because of the lack of snow...but I have been faithfully listening to holiday music since the 1st of November! :)
Life has been VERY busy this month with COSA, church and just other MVS stuff. At COSA, we are getting 3 new circles together which is very exciting but very stressful at the same time. Since we work with volunteers only, it is very difficult to find 4-5 people that can meet at the same time every week for an hour and a half. It is also hard to find volunteers in general. 3 new circles means 12-15 new volunteers which is quite a lot! That is something Clare Ann and I are working on...volunteer recruitment. This week, I have been using Clare Ann's car to take one of our core members to work in Kingsburg (25 minutes away from Fresno) every morning before I go into the office or to circles. It has been such an amazing transformation in his circle as he has been looking for a job for about 5 months with no luck! Our circle has been working very hard to work on that and with the right connections and knowing that the core members has had past truck driving experience we were able to make trucking school happen for him AND get a job aligned with a friend of Clare Ann's who has a heart for parolees...especially se offenders. We were able to raise $1000 from the local Menno and MB churches and pay his trucking school in full which puts in a very good name for COSA, that we are reliable. Maybe we will be able to call on that school for other core members in the future?
Also at work, we celebrated 2 core members one year COSA anniversaries and 1 core members 1 year anniversary of being out of prison. He has been in prison since he graduated from high school and this is so great to celebrate! So COSA has been very fulfilling this season. I am ready for a break though! Going to Vegas for Thanksgiving was wonderful, but jam packed with things to do so I am ready to sit on the couch for a couple days! hehe. It was such great fun to visit not only Danielle and Mark, but have our friend Ashley there from Virginia! It was such a special Thanksgiving...I will never forget it. I will post some pictures up here from Thanksgiving in Vegas and from our MVS unit after we decorated it. Daniella would not let me get a real tree because she says that is so wrong and she would be very upset with me if i got a real tree. I tried to explain to her that have Christmas tree farms specifically to cut down the tree and then they plant a new one. It's not like they are cutting down part of the rainforest! But we found a fake 4 foot tall tree in the closet so I put that up. It was so much fun to put up and decorate Danielle and Mark's tree in Vegas too!
Well, I know I will have so many stories to tell when I come home so be ready! :) I miss you all so much and have been counting the days down for quite some time with the fam in Lima. I have also been missing my North Carolina family a lot this season as I spent it with many of them on Martha's Vineyard last year. I was able to connect with two of the staff members from Martha's Vineyard who had the little girl Olivia and just had another baby! Brett and Liz are their names and Brett just got a job as an english prof at Mt. Vernon Nazarene University in Ohio. It was great to talk to them! I have been listening to a lot of new music and have ound so many new artists that I am enjoying for the first time! It's so refreshing.
Speaking of music, I have been playing my violin the past couple Sundays at church and I am singing special music on Sunday with a men's group which is fun. I have been going to Mennonite Community (our church here in Frenso) after work sometimes to just play the piano to relax and that has been a comfort to me lately. (I have a key to church because many of our circles meet there.) I just started writing another song and that has been quite therapeutic also. Anyways, I think that is all I have for now. See you all sooN!



Peace and Love!
jor

What a night!

Praise the Lord for answered prayers! I finally have hope for this country we call home again. I am still in shock. It was a blow out! Clearly this country was looking for change and i think we have found it! My spirits were lifted immediately and i feel like this was all a dream in some sense. Sen. Obama's speech was moving...just beautifully put. This is history in the making and it feels so amazing to be part of that! And yay for OHIO and Indiana for coming through! can you believe it!? I finally feel like my vote counted!

on a more somber note, there a couple propositions here in california that are going to be very close, including prop 4 and 8. 4 would force organizations performing an abortion for any female under 18 to notify their parents 48 hours before the abortion takes place...i just can imagine how sad this could be for young women who have crazy parents that would react in a horrible way (kicking them out of the house, verbal abuse, etc.). and prop 8 will ban gay marriage (that was just recently granted in California) and has been a HUGE issue here. especially in Fresno where there have been rallies and protest every weekend for weeks. $47 million was spend on this campaign b/w both sides. how sad will it be if this is overturned and those who just gained this right will go back to not being recognized. BUT OBAMA WON, so that is still making me very happy!

Daniella made a cake and iced it to look like an american flag which was hilarious! (i will put a picture of it up soon)

Work has been pretty depressing this week as one of our Core Members might be put on the streets next week if we cannot come up with funds for him as a circle. Parole is not giving him money this month apparently. These guys are at the mercy of a completely flawed and screwed up system. I have never seen ANYONE look so hard for a job(s) in my life for a vigorous 5 months and come up with nothing. it is heartbreaking and i found myself getting choked up when explaining this to the MVS support committee last night after dinner. i am realizing how emotionally draining this job truly is. i am still thoroughly enjoying my work and the people i work with on a daily basis. (although i do have many "bad days", but who doesn't) well i must go to bed if i want to make it to work on time tomorrow! love you all and miss you dearly every day. the falling leaves make me miss home more than ever. keep in touch.

Much love and happiness,
Jor

Fall? I wish...

Well, i thought fall was here in Fresno a couple weeks ago. The weather was cool in the 50's and 60's, windy and cloudy. That didn't last. This week it has been in the high 80's all week! The weather is beautiful, just not fall weather. Well, a lot has happened since my last blog. Sorry it has been so long! I am in the office all week by myself as Clare Ann is in Atlanta at the ATSA (Association for Treatment of Sexual Abusers.) conference and presenting on COSA. There are suppose to be a couple thousand people there from all sorts of organizations dealing with sex offenders. This should give us some good media and word of mouth coverage. The COSA's in Canada are doing a whole day workshop so that is good too. I continue to learn new things everyday whether it be in the circles or just in the office. I did a power point presentation on COSA for a victim healing and trauma class on Monday. It went well. Clare Ann seems to put a lot of trust in me which is cool but also nerve wracking. I don't want to screw anything up.

So I have my plane tickets to get me home and back to Fresno for Christmas...(thanks John and Joy and Mom and Dad!) Mom is counting the days for me. i think im down to 56 days? :) i am getting very excited to come home and see everyone! i am going through family withdrawal. I am going to Las Vegas to visit Danielle, Mark and a friend for Thanksgiving. I will stay with Danielle and Mark. That should be much fun! Danielle won $27,000 at a casino so she is paying my way to get there and back by Greyhound bus. it is a 11 hour drive!! yikes! i will have to bring a couple books...

Something that has been taking more of my time is the church i am attending, Mennonite Community. I am currently on the Worship Committee, Gathering Music committee, I have worked on their Habitat or Humanity house, played my violin during the service, read scripture, and i am teaching the youth Sunday School class (high school) this Sunday. Also, this morning i volunteered 2 hours at the church for their CARE program. Every 3rd and 4th Wed. of the month, they have a food pickup for low income families/folks. The church is VERY involved in helping the community, especially the low income demographic. They have a 1/2 time position for that program. Clare Ann let me take a couple hours in the morning today off to do that.

Hopefully this weekend, the roomies and i are heading to the Sequoia National Park on Saturday. We have finally put together a set of chores that each person does and each person cook one day during the week. It is nice to know you can count on a hot meal after work that you dont have to cook 3 days a week. I am usually the one who has to initiate the meetings because no one else wants to "bother" anyone. the way i look at it, if there's a problem, face it so it doesn't blow up into something unnecessary. But the house is feeling more like my home in Fresno. I am out of the house a lot more than the others are because I have made several friends in the city. This weekend was a blast! I hung out with Michelle and Ruben (2 good friends i met a while ago.), and their friend who just moved out of Fresno the month i got here. We spent hours at Tea and saw a movie at the dollar movie theatre. I can be myself around them because they are just as loud and outgoing as i am. Our friend Andrea couldn't be there as she went into the emergency room this Sunday and had to have an emergency appendectomy. (sp?) Michelle and i went to the hospital (one of 4!) yesterday to visit her.

Hmmm...what else? I will post some pictures of the roomies. Some from Kelsey's birthday, some from when she and I went to a Giants game in SF and some from camp Keola. i love hearing from you all and love getting the mail you send! it is SO MUCH APPRECIATED!!

Much Love,
Jor

getting settled...

well...it has been what, 4 weeks now here in Fresno? In some ways it seems i have been here for a long time and in others i still feel like i just arrived. i thought it was time for another blog. it has been a while since the last. just sitting here at the computer with my glass of good old cheap boxed wine. (ah the beauty of cheap wine when you're poor!) today was the second Sunday we have attended Mennonite Community Church as a unit. i really enjoy the congregation...it reminds me of Lima Menno back home...but different. it is a younger congregation...most of the members seem to be between 35-60. they have a small youth group, high school age. i talked to my housemates and we think we will invite them over and host a game/pizza night soon.

the unit house is starting to feel like home now. i am pretty settled in now, i will attach some pictures of the inside of the house. i still really enjoy my work with COSA. the circles are a breath of fresh air, sometimes very emotional, sometimes difficult and sometimes just plain fun. i am meeting one of the core members for coffee this week during my lunch break. i am starting to feel like part of the circles now, not just a guest visiting and i think the core members and volunteers are feeling the same way. i am now in 7 out of the 9 total circles...which is a lot! it is the part of the job i enjoy the most though. i am despising grant research though. there is only so much one can take of staring at a computer screen on the department of justice and come up with the same things saying they don't have any money to give...yeah, thanks to our amazing economy. let me tell you, California is not doing too hot in the economic field as of late. they are trying to pass a budget, but are getting no where. unemployment and poverty are at an all time high (especially here in Fresno) and pay-cuts, position cuts are a sure bet here for most companies, private and public. anyways...enough of that.

on a good note, i am in love with the Tower District (a 10 minute walk from home). it is the alternative artsy part of the city, where all the young, liberal folk come out for coffee, tea, and everything else. i found my new favorite place to go and write in my journal and meet new people. this amazing world tea house "Teazers." it is so great to go there and meet new people. i have already made a couple friends there. we have great conversation, we are to start biking together soon and it's just nice to get out of the MVS unit and in a "city" environment. my roomates pretty much stay at home as of late and keep saying, "oh...you were at Teazers again!? how have you already made friends?!" i just tell them it's something i need in my life. the more people, the merrier i say. the only problem is, of course, my $50 for the month are now GONE and it's only mid september! i need to be ableo to talk myself out of going 4 times a week and sometimes going to starbucks before work...it's a luxury i realize MVSers cannot have. (thanks Grandma and Grandpa L. for the $10!! I was able to go there 3 extra times!!)

so a topic i have been journaling about lately (due to the constant talk of it in recent "circles" and in conversation with friends from North Carolina) is FORGIVENESS. poeple who are having trouble forgiving themselves after many years and knowing that they have been forgiven by God, and many of them by family and friends, but just can't seem to forgive themselves. also talking to people about my work here and hearing how they don't think they could ever forgive any sex offender. i have been playing this Patty Griffin song "forgiveness" a lot lately and these lyrics seem to be a good reminder...if you have itunes, you should spend the .99 to buy this song (if not the whole record! :)

Forgiveness

We are swimming with the snakes
At the bottom of the well
So silent and peaceful in the darkness where we fell
But we are not snakes and what's more
We never will be
And if we stay swimming here forever we will
Never be free

I heard them ringing the bells
In heaven and hell
They got a secret
They're getting ready to tell
It's falling from the sky
Calling from the graves
Open your eyes, boy, I think we are saved
Open your eyes, boy, I think we are saved

Let's take a walk on the bridge
Right over this mess
Don't need to tell me a thing, baby
We've already confessed
And I raised my voice to the air
And we were blessed
It's hard to give and it's hard to get
Everybody needs a little forgiveness
We are calling for him tonight on this
Thin phone line
As usual we're having ourselves one
hell of a time
And the planes keep flying right over our heads
No matter how lond we shout
"Hey, hey, hey !"
And we keep waving and waving
Our arms in the air
But we're all tired out

I heard somebody say
Today's the day
A big old hurricaine
Is blowing our way
Knocking over the buildings
Killing all the light
Open your eyes, boy, we made it through the night
Open your eyes, boy, we made it through the night

Let's take a walk on the bridge
Right over this mess
Don't need to tell me a thing, baby
We've already confessed
And I raised my voice to the air
And we were blessed
It's hard to give
It's hard to get
It's hard to live still I think it's the best bet
It's hard to give and I'm never gonna forget
But everybody needs a little forgiveness
Everybody needs a little forgiveness

(*taken from www.pattygriffin.net)
From Living With Ghosts
©1996 One Big Love Music/Chrome Dog Music (ASCAP)

Well, i think that will be it for now! it was SO GOOD to talk to many of you today at the family gathering in Berne! keep sending the snail mail! i love getting it...maybe i'll start sending some back soon! miss you all and think of you EVERY DAY...


here's pix of the living room, dining room (connected to living room with a keyboard:), the bathroom with a tub, but no shower and the teeny tiny moldy shower and the kitchen.

Camp Keola

This weekend was a breath of fresh air in more ways than one! It was the last of the camp weekends at camp Keola in the Sierra Nevadas. THe Mennonite churches from all around California have this camp site on lease I believe and get to use it every summer. It works like camp Freidenswald, but they do not get it for the whole year. I will be going back up in October to help close the camp for the winter. Kelsey, Jon and I went with the Carol Penner and her son (in high school) as part of their family. Every year a family takes the VSers as part of their family for this weekend of fun and fellowship with Mennonites from all over California. Most of the 70 or so people there this weekend were from Menno. Community (the MVS support church/congregation) and Reedley First Menno. As Grandpa said in his email, I met one of Lisa's old college friends and a few people that knew some other Liechty's.

We played LOTS of volleyball everyday,(3 hours on Sat. and Sunday!) lots of pingpong, and I learned to play pinochle!! I thought I should jump at the chance to learn and ended up loving it! THere was a lady there Ethel in her 80's who was just a hoot! She was a fireball with a great sense of humor and we decided we would have to get together again and have a card game night. I also went Kayaking and swimming in the beautiful Huntington Lake one day and tagged along with a few folks who took out their speedboat for skiing on Sunday. It was a great way to meet people from the Fresno area as well as fellow church members. It was a great mix of all ages and EVERYONE was part of the activities...not just the young teenagers!

The cabins were quite rustic and it got very chilly at night. I wore jeans and a sweatshirt most of the day on Sunday and always at night. The food was great! (We got to take home ALOT of leftovers!!) Kelsey, Jon and I skipped out on the last campfire (the speaker was rather boring) to go down to the lake and take some pictures together and then went back to the lodge to sit by the fire and just talk. We all seem to enjoy being around eachother which is very comforting as we don't really have a choice!! HAHA! When we got back this morning there was note from Danielle(who moved in last night and left early this morning to Kansas for orientation) that siad she has 14 boxes coming!! Yes, i said FOURTEEN BOXES! We are thinking, "where the heck is she going to put all this stuff she's bringing!?!?!" I think we might be psyching ourselves out with all these speculations of Danielle, but the truth is, she may be just lovely and fun and wonderful to hang out with. Here's for hoping!

Back to work tomorrow...it was a nice breath of fresh air to be off of work for an extended weekend and be in the mountains where there is literally "fresh air." Fresno's air quality is NOT GOOD to say the least. We get the smog and pollution from the bay area and other cities on higher ground. We don't have earthquakes like the coast, tornadoes like the midwest, hurricanes like the south...but we do have BAD AIR! Looks like i'll have to take multiple trips to the mountains!
:) Hope this blog finds everyone having a lazy Labor Day and in good spirits! Still missing you all dearly...

much love...

jor

Homesick a bit...i miss everyone!

It's Friday afternoon and it's 107 degrees outside!! When I got home from work at 5, Jonathan was mowing the backyard which was great because that means I don't have to!! :) I mowed the front 2 days ago, and I will be watering the grass tonite. (we can only water the lawn on Wed., Fri. and Sun.) So Jon arrived last nite at around 6:45pm from the Fresno airport. He's a Goshen grad and lived there most of his life...He knows Jenna (his twin sister Julia who I met 2 years ago at a peace conference in Bluffton was Jenna's good friend growing up I guess? Is this true Jenna?) and it was fun to see how many Goshen friends we have in common. It's weird sharing my room now with someone else since I was there alone for a week!

I think we are going to go to the Tower District tonite and scope it out. It is the "alternative/eclectic/artsy" part of Fresno. There are a lot of old theatres and things like that. I believe one of the local drama programs is putting on the musical Chicago right now. That would fun to go to. It looks like the three of us are going to get along really well. We'll just have to see how Danielle (the snake lady) fits in. We're all a bit nervous. I'm sure it will all work out though!

Yesterday it hit me that I really miss family and friends from back home and my friends in North Carolina. I've been doing my best to keep in touch, but when I can talk, it seems no one else can. that gets frustrating when i just need someone familiar to vent to or just to talk and remind me of my life back home, how things are going. Sad i can't fly in for the birthday party ion Berne!! :( if only we had a money tree here...haha! I just thought I would let everyone know I do miss you all very much. Today was very hard at work as I was looking online (facebook) at pictures of my friends who i've left and seeing how much fun they are having without me and how I would have been part of that fun 3 months ago...it was kind of depressing...ok, REALLY sad:( I just have to keep adjusting to my life here and find where I fit in. Talking to Mom, Dad, Blake, Rileigh and Gracie was great 2 days ago, but again, made me ache for 1916 Lakewood Ave., Lima, OHIO! Christmas isnt that far away right?! HAHA! well, I think this will be it for this entry...hopefully some pictures will come later to accompany...love you all.

Jor

ps: one of my friends from Black Mountain, NC put this picture of me on Facebook and I thought I should post it here...I just think it is SO funny!! THe hat was made by a friend there for someone else as a gift and i thought it was awesome! it is suppose to represent a cupcake...


Here's some pix of Jenna and I with some Bluffton friends a couple days before I left for Fresno...

Welcome to the Sunny State...no joke!

They say California is the Sunny State. Well...they were not joking! Here in Fresno it has been in the upper 90's and lower 100's consistently for the first 7 days I've been here. Not a drop of rain, not a cloud in sight. Yup, that's Fresno. It's gorgeous everyday, but waiting for the bus just for 15 minutes i feel like an egg on a skillet! :) The house has three vehicles, but only 1 of them has automatic transmission. Kelsey gets that car since public transportation doesn't make it to her placement and it goes right past mine. The only problem is Fresno's public transportation is known as the worst in the country...well, maybe not that bad, but it's not very efficient. So i wait b/w 10-20 min. for the bus to come (its never on time) and then it takes about 40-55 min. on the bus before I get to Fresno Pacific and the same on the way home. On the positive side, I get to "people watch", (there are some crazy people that ride the bus!) and read.
My job is going really well. I can tell i am going to enjoy it very much. It will be a full load, and there will be stressful days, but I am already learning so much!! Clare Ann Ruth-Heffelbower (the director of COSA; AKA my boss.) is amazing. I love working with her, and just getting to know her. (which is good because right now we share a teeny tiny office until we move to a new "building" and I will actually have my own office!) The whole CPACS (Center for Peace and Conflict Studies) office is great. The faculty and staff are very warm and friendly. Some have already offered to have me over for lunch or dinner soon!
Speaking of work...I have already been to 4 "circles" which include 3-7 volunteers and 1 "core member." The core member is the name for the sex offender so we make a point not to use the term offender. This program (COSA) is not a rehabilitation program. It is a circle that creates relationships b/w community members and the Core Member. It is a way to help the core member reenter the community when they don't have any other form of support system. But wile we are a support system, the circle is there to create accountability just as much as support. Out 2 "mantras" if you will are: 1. NO MORE VICTIMS and 2. NO ONE IS DISPOSABLE.
Hopefully this gave you a little more insight into my position as COSA's Program Assistant and a kind of basic explanation of what we do. Hopefully as the year unfolds and I write more blogs, I will explain my position and the actual Circles of Support and Accountability. (COSA)
>
The house/unit that i live in is in a nice community close to many families that attend Mennonite Community Church. (the church i will be attending) It is 1 floor with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. (1 walk in shower that's very small...my head almost touches the ceiling! and a bath with no shower head.) I will be sharing my room with Jonathan Gingerich while Kelsey and Daniella get their own rooms. Kelsey and i are the only 2 living here until Jon arrives on Thursday and Daniella the next week. I finally finished "decorating" my room...meaning i have all my pictures and posters up.

well...more in the coming days and weeks!! miss you all!

Peace and MUCH LOVE,
Jordan